So basically, my first real college week is when I am super stressed out. And to the point where I end up having an anxiety attack in my piano class. Me, the feeler of a real emotion. No that could never be me. Even though I have the weight of being in college and deciding what my future for the next chapter of my life is going to be. I, marshalllee2349, cannot feel an emotion.

    I am the shy introverted guy, who has to pretend like everything is okay even though it isn't. I'm kind of like Wanda Maximoff except I have a realistically strong grip on my emotions. Although I think I finally realized there is another Marvel Character I relate to. And that's Natasha Romanoff a.k.a. Black Widow. 

      So, unlike Yelena Belvova, I don't exactly have a choice. I have to be the one who pushes and works hard to make sure I have a life like Natasha. She had a lot of wrongs she had to right. And she could not die until she restored her legacy. I also can't until I have a legacy. Or else, I will just be in my father's shadow. And that isn't surprising. Since most gays do live in their parents shadows. However, I am going to be different. I need to make a difference in my life. Its either I make a difference or I die. 

    So this time, I am going to put in the work instead of letting people work me. I am going to memorize those harmonic scales for piano. I am going to actually be a student and learn music. Because I really do want to be a musician. I am strong. I'm not an anti hero because I have to be a good person. Every place I have ever been to has turned me into something I'm not because my idea of a good person has changed so drastically over the years. Now I realize that in real life, a good person is someone you try to be. It's not someone you present yourself as. 

AND I, Marshalllee2349, am a good person and I'm emo. I'm a real good person.