life is so complex for why question mark ?

just thinking of talking to people is so scary to me and i know why. i dont just wanna say everything on the internet it could be embarassment. im pretty sure its embarrassment. i dont feel like i can effectively communicate on a normal basis an thats why im scared to get a job. i wanna live but idk it just feels like an excruciatingly, unbearable pain. i probably sound cringe. l8r.