HOW DO YOU DO IT???(vent?)

i can’t fucking do this…i just wanna be a scene kid but everytime i attempt i look so fucking ugly… my hair is fucked up because it was cut wrong… my hairstylist butchered it so bad but i thought it looked good the way she styled it, but when i undid it it looks disgusting now. i have an issue where my hair grows different by my bangs(a cowlick)so it’s difficult to do it…  i’ve tried so hard but no matter what i do it looks ugly… when i tease my hair, it flattens out as soon as i hairspray it… how do y’all do it….? bc i’m abt to give up on life bc of this style. my style is the most important thing to me, and looking normal is the worst punishment i could ever endure in this world…