i wanna live a netflix ny life so bad

cried over that guy today. like a part of me thinks hes going to text me. HOW DO I STOP THINKING THIS AND ACCEPT THAT ITS OVER?!?!?!!?

from this moment on, my goal is to get into columbia (or any unis in new york) so that i can live like serena van der woodsen minus the hotel. ( havent finished gossip girl NO SPOILERS OKAY ) do i need to be good at math for that?? im joking, i know that i have a life of logarithms and other pointless mathematics in front of me if i want that. 

scary thought: what if i spend my entire teenage-hood trying to get into columbia and dont get in and i have to go to some random uni in the middle of nowhere with people who just want to milk cows and herd sheep in muddy paddocks???? 

there are no cute boys in random farming unis. do farmers even go to uni??? respect either way, uni seems boring when youre actually doing work. i was born to listen to music in my king bed and cry over boys, not work. ughhhh i hate 90% of things right now. 

no texts from the guy who im now calling fish because its funny. like haha stupid fish i miss youso much.  i love fish. i want fish so bad. 

anyway wish me luck trying to be a successful new yorker. new yorkian? idk. 

love that fish will never give me 

from blake