19/09/23

                      ☆tuesday, sep 19, 2023☆                          

okay, fuck everything actually. i hate having depression it makes me unable to do anything right, logical thinking? don't have that. process of information? slow as a snail. capacibility to love? none  i spent time with ther and i just, felt so guilty when i left, like if i was a stray puppy lost in the middle of the rain , and i hate how my mind is going crazy over her but my body just does not respond !!!!!!!! i'm unable to feel the sparkle, the void continues that and i don't have that happy, satisfied feeling. never enough, nothing is ever enough, i can't do anything right, not even love, i'm physically and chemically unable to love

 i people pleased, my classmates are homophobic (i was reading a wlw book in class) and that one boy keeps staring and harassing me. i'm so scared, everything is so new and uncertain and it feels like i'm stepping into the void