NEVERMIND ABOUT THE BOY. also a rant about becoming an ADULT WOMAN in caps.

Okay so he left me on delivered for like a week so I officially hate him and might block him. the only reason I haven't is because my friends say he attractive. not really the only reason also because I don't like losing friends. that's the actual reason I don't wanna block him. but like idk much about him. he kinda just looks like a stick figure and I don't know what his voice sounds like idk why I was hyping it up so much in my head but I don't think it was that serious. I also think I have 3 more years plus the spring semester to make "friends" because he wasn't really a friend cut he flirted with me lowkey. Idk I don't like men they irritate me but like some are okay as friends then we go from there. NGL all my male friends are either epically friend zoned or like very much gay so like I never really thought about talking to men. IDK he's not even like "a boy" he's is an adult man like the shift from high school to college was insane. and like he's my age but like why does IT have a beard. like not even like a little bit of fuzz I mean like a whole ass adult man beard like WHAT.  in comparison to female (me) and how I'm becoming a woman is not the same as the guys are becoming men like cuz if that's true my boobs are gone be huge cuz I'm already a DD-DDD and like men have beards and they're gonna be more manly in the future DOES THAT MEAN IM GONNA BE MORE WOMANLIER CUZ HELL NAH. I CANT HANDLE GROWING BIGGER BOOBS I GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYY. but no anyway enough about sexual development but like still why are men like that. they look weird. and like why. idk man but like I hope a guy approaches me like in a normal way instead of looking to hook up with me cuz I simply can not handle that that idea scares me. BUT LIKE HOW DO YALL FIND BOYFRIENDS I NEED ADVICE. AND IM NOT WILLING TO SEND NOODS SO PLS APPROPRIATE ADVICE PLS. thx <3