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In preperation for college I bought a new, black ring binder with the intent of covering it in stickers! I've always wanted to decorate something with stickers, like a laptop or car or something but never did because I never really found any stickers I like and don't really have things to decorate them with, so I was really happy when I realised I could probably decorate something that I actually use daily.
Last year we had binders we kept in a cabinet on campus where we stored papers we need like hand-written assignments and course info and would get these out usually at least once a day. Now on the pathway I'm on, I have a new course manager; when I first met with her to talk about the course she mentioned how she'll be wanting to keep it mostly digital for ease and enviromental impact- cool! But now we're on week two (first week of actual lessons instead of induction stuff) and it finally clicked that this course is going to be so paperless that it means we wouldn't really actually need folders or a cabinet to keep them in. ;v;
This is after I went sticker hunting on etsy (still didn't really find anything I loved but thats pretty usual) and was about to order some! The only other thing I can really think of decorating is a waterbottle? But then I'd have to buy a water bottle that's specifically mine instead of the households and even then I'd be restricted to vinyl stickers only, which are water proof but still need to be handwashed.
I'm mildly disapointed but I suppose I just wanted to share it and actually talk about it. I think personalisation is really important to me but not something I've ever really been able to join in with and I think I'm more affected by that being shut down yet again than not actually being able to decorate something lol I think it's also playing into me really wanting to "be myself" and making new connections.
Is it common to not feel like yourself? Is it common to not really enjoy things? I feel like a big part of my childhood was kind of dampened by never being able to Just Be. I feel pretty disjointed as a human being and never really felt like I belonged. I've never really been in a community before, either. This is something I'd love to talk to a therapist about but I don't know if I want to spend £50 a fortnight, build a bond with someone, hope they're the right match for me and actually be able to help me. I've done therapy before and it's been a massive help but I also just don't know if I have the time and mental bandwidth for one currently.
WOOO, this is getting sad. A lot's been on my mind recently- and the past 17 years lol. Here's to hoping I'll discover myself soon!
- Jasmine xoxo
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Alden
Hi!! For the stickers you could totally go DIY, that's what I did for mine! Yeah they fall off, but that's life hahaha, you're always. changing as a person why not let your stickers reflect that.
As for the "not recognising yourself" part, I get that! I feel that way a lot (though not as much as before) and the only thing that changed was that I actively did things I've never done before, tried fashion I thought I'd NEVER wear, and went to events I thought I'd hate.
And yknow what 99% of it sucked. Like genuinely SUCKED and so wasn't for me, but the 1% that did stick made me happier and more "myself". It's not perfect, but it's always a start :3