feeling GOOD after a lifetime of feeling VERY VERY BAD

the majority of my life has been a plethora of mental problems and issues and letting those consume me. growing up with all the CLASSIC tragic lore such as (REDACTED x))))... there was nothing a younger me wanted to get better for and something about being miserable felt like control of that crazy life and crazy world, in its own special way.... it was never that but it felt like it and the illusion was enough for the time....

but No worries cause that stuff isnt really my life anymore. im still healing from a lot, i still have those days but thats normal. overall, i wake up everyday feeling good and excited to start a new day! ive become a person that i like to spend time with and talk to and be around. and im surrounded by people that i love that love me too and we have real good and fun times!! the shit home life is no more and school is over forever!!! the control i always craved is real now, i operate on my own terms but i also have such nice epic amazing people i can rely on too!! etc!!!!!!!! this is the life i never thought was possible come TRUE!!!!!!!

.......so i hate that it just feels so OFF sometimes literally just because its GOOD. because GOOD was never the normal, MISERY was the normal. i spent a lot of my life feeling VERY BAD and now i feel VERY GOOD PRETTY OFTEN and i think my brain doesnt quite COMPUTE THAT!!!?

change is always WEIRD i guess, especially a big change such as consistent state of ur wellbeing for the majority of all of your life. even good changes feel off because its change and things feeling off makes you feel like youre doing it wrong but youre not doing it wrong your brain is just shifting and your soul is just shifting and you are literally pushing Earth welcome to transitional periods. sometimes the things that are best for you and the right things will feel uncomfortable and sometimes progress includes some discomfort.

the OFF feeling ... dont let it freak u out too much, if u can help it, just have a bit of a conversation with yourself about it, like im doing right now but i let the whole website of spacehey and maybe even beyond take a peek in my skull in my brain too. you dont have to do that part but sometimes u just need to sit down and listen to yourself....... its ok to feel the OFF feeling and its ok to feel GOOD after a lot of BAD and etc it will be ok.....