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have you ever felt a feeling so draining you couldn't even think without feeling exhaustion? i could only describe it as the feeling you get when a roller coaster drops, when you get that gut wrenching feeling, the gag you feel every time you swallow because you're so nauseous, the feeling of your eyes tearing up mid sentence, the paranoia crushing you with its weight, when your head is so loud you can't focus, just the absolute worthlessness and hopelessness - all felt at once, but seemingly 100x worse than before. 
the feeling makes you wish that you were dead.

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