ranting

have you ever wanted to just be a completely different person? like just go to sleep one day and wake up as the polar opposite of who you are?

life is shit, school started and it’s barely the second day and it’s already fucked.. i dunno if i’ll be able to ACTUALLY make it to college

on the flip side, i got a role in some film my classmates are filming so.. thats good? i hate being filmed tho, ik itll only be shown to my other classmates + form teacher but ehhhhhh its just embarrassing 

somedays i just wanna tap out but i just canttt being on autopilot used to be so easy, now its practically impossible cuz my teachers will kill me if i dont look like im paying attention and i’ll also probably fucken fumble my future if i dont pay attention in physics (i hate physics its funky and stuff) BUTTT im getting payed to get good grades so i’ll TRY to pay attention to that old ass decrepit sunnovabitch 

harddd… i’ve got no friends or well, friends i actually talk with? i have the people around me, i get along with them well enough but i dont consider them my “friends” nor do they. 

i have a certain short, curly haired blondie but nowadays? we barely even talk

the days are long and hard and everyones just throwing stupid assignments at us… i also have LATIN??? FUCKEN LATIN)))!? why would you implement that into a school curriculum,, it’s also obligatory like if i wanted to slip in a few latin sayings to sound smart i would pull out a book and take some sayings outta it. I don’t need to know how to conjugate latin verbs,, or words,, i dunno anything about latin but it cant be THAT hard, right??

it’s eating me up inside,, i miss good ol gran and shes just across the street from me, yet i cant find it in me to actually get up, change clothes, put on shoes, wash my hands, style my hair, grab my headphones, spend 20 minutes looking for a song then end up settling for eother dont preach to me by the skallywags or some kmfdm song (some random song from blitz, aymbols or angst, imo best albums) and then walking across the street, scare the frogs hiding in the pond, open the loud ass gate, knock or ring the bell and.. yah.. wash my hands again, style my hair, hug gran, watch some news then fuckk off