The journal of a stranger online ¸.•* #1

Not going to lie this might be my only post on this blog or whatever :p but we will see how it goes? I'm not looking for pity or anything of the sort, just the thoughts and feelings of a stranger online. 

I've been stressed so much lately, between working, figuring out my projects and school. I'm not in school but I'm trying to get in, and as horrendous as it sounds going back into a place where I'll probably more stressed than I am now, it is something I still wish to do. Ahhh whatever, I got bigger issues anyways. Sometimes I forget that I have such awful anxiety when it comes to everything. So much to the point where I just shut off my emotions like a tap but alas it still drips. Well that's how it feels essentially. 

As awful as I feel, how everyday is a struggle, and even though sometimes I just want to be a floating jelly in the sea, or just a star in space. A part of me wants to be here, with my amazing friends and my incredible bf. I know it's probably super idealist of me, that's how i've always been, but I would do anything and everything just so the people I love and care for are happy. 

I don't know if anyone is ever going to read this, considering I just made this so I feel like there's a place I can type out how I feel, but life is never going to be a straight road. There will be bumps and grooves and uphills and downhills and you can't control that. Life is hard, but through it all, you've made it this far, I'm proud of everyone who's completed that uphill battle and those who are going through it. 

- Aphel