change

im in my freshman year rn and ive only just recently tried getting my own interest, which sux. for the last 3 years of my boring life i was rlly ugly, awkward, and everything that could have been bad, was bad. (dont get me wrong i still have social anxiety but not nearly as bad as before.) now i have better hygiene, i have cute clothes, i am more self aware, and overall feel better. im in a new school now which is good. and in getting better i realize i dont know myself. i used to piggy-back my friends jokes and interests and so for the first time in forever im learning to be myself. (sounds corny loll) when i first thought like this i was worried, but now i can see its kind of a good thing. its like a blank space where i can write down how i want to act and be perceived. and that sounds great. a part of me is still a little anxious that i might just purposely not be into something my friends are into because ill try and separate myself from them as much as possible,, like if my friend listens to a song, then i wont listen to it because i dont want us to have things in common. ill try and avoid doing that. im working on being my own person, with my own personality. im pretty excited to see how much better i will feel afterwards. like just being raw and natural, nothing forced.