If you use ADHD meds and we stay over together

If you're a user of methylphenidate and I'm staying with you, i might be looking at it and calculate my chances. ADHD meds. Interpersonally awful, eh? This post will lay out your reasons. I'm not advocating that you do, and I would never want to morally pressure you into doing so!

Now that is a blog post that i wanted to write about twenty minutes ago and by now i am seeing it retrospectively as a thing i want to write before i move on to another.
I will thus probably make it brief. Probably.

I don't have my methylphenidate prescribed. Every time I use a 20mg prolonged-release pill (the supposedly less-desired ones, because they last for a great part of day and give some people headache) or half a 40mg ditto, or half a 20mg one, I think of the person from which I have those ones.

I also do have a few immediate-release pills in my stash, 10mg. The prolonged-release ones that I only ever had are anyway ones that have a roughly equivalent effect of half their dose immediate-release followed by half the dose of true prolonged release, or at least so people say. Medikinet is those, while a not-quite-counterpart Concerta is said to be just the prolonged, onsetting effect, which some people need to not have some side-effects.

Now right now I have decided that — despite this day not being a work day, aside from me maybe yesterday having been hoping to enjoyably make some more progress with some unit tests debugging today from work stuff — I want to take methylphenidate today, and i stepped away from the keyboard to take it and make myself some sparkling electrolytes.

Because i was thinking about all these blogging ideas i had today and i really wanted to blog some of them. I today had a day that started with getting back into RSS feeds all over with newsboat and i read a lot of cool Unix stuff. I wouldn't want to post anything dev or tech yet, still probably just a life piece, but I feel like I did get some inspiration that way.

Eh a moment ago I had this sense of urgency about having taken methylphenidate, since I felt like i'm losing my sluggishness of a tired ADHD morning that brought on that post. For a brief moment I felt like I'm very stimulated by it, but i'm pretty sure i hasn't yet taken effect and it was just my feelings — since I now feel almost the same way again after a while.

I switched chairs and desks a few times and maybe this setting now is actually going to have me continue this, but I still remain a bit moody and tired about the intent to proceed with that blog post. Just sidetracked onto my new editor annoying me with a dashed-line page-break indicator, however i'm (forgot what I meant to write as I was making temporary decisions about having an autocorrecting spellcheck add the apostrophe in my "im")

Now what I meant to write was something about how, eh, this is something a bit shockingly wrong and exploitative and better-distance-from-that-person kind of thing to many. The reasons include:

• those are prescription medicine. you are prescribed roughly as much as you need yourself. with a little spare. that depends on how strict your use regularity is.

• those are prescription medicine. i should just get my own, right?

• those are prescription medicine. it was your effort to get them, and i'm a bum

• those are prescription medicine. i should not be a doctor unto myself

• those are prescription medicine. if i circumvent the system, i turn into the very thing it is designed to stop. and that makes me a drug abuser!

• i shall not be a doctor unto myself, and it is your duty to not enable me

• it is your duty to not enable me, and if you do you are to blame if i fail myself

• i should just get my own, and if you hand me some you feel felonious

• if you hand me some you actually fear it might be a felony

• it is a felony in the sense that if you acted in absolute honesty to your doc, you may have them act in a manner that will essentially strip you from your rights to be medicated; they may refuse to prescribe you more and you may end up in a position of an outlaw because of it. or at least you fear it could be so

• if you enable me you let the concept of my actions spread and that makes other possibly fail themselves and get harmed by their drug abuse

• drugs and money are what drug-use-opposing gentlefolks don't exchange

• …don't exchange and 'tis way to lose a friend

• if i ask you for them i could have just as well asked you for a large sum of money to same issues

• i am going to use the fact that those. are. your. prescription. medicine.

• you feel like having medicine prescribed for something should never ever enable you with anything other than being medicated

• nor should have any meaning to anyone aside from concerns about your health

• you don't want handing me some to make our friendship dishonest

• you feel pressure from how you think i could carry animosity towards you were you to refuse, and you consider that immoral and judge me for it in advance.

• you think that the moment it becomes common enough to not flat out refuse by default, that peer pressure is too likely and society shall not turn so

See, I'm aware of all these. What do you think it makes me? Think for yourself.
E-mail me.

Yesterday, as I had methylphenidate have what I would call, very un-clinically, an anti-depressant effect on me, I thought about maybe soon managing to actually go tour psychiatrists. Yeah that has happened because I forgot about all the debts I'm in from paying friends' urgent rent payments recently; and I already managed to forget how exhausting governmental health services are.

I have a private medical services insurance from my employer. Doesn't cover psychiatrists. Okay, well, there is a quota on one or two visits per year. I guess I can try seeing a psychiatrist once for that. I didn't want to use that up since the quota also counted in stuff like sexuologists and lots more, and I'm transgender without a formal diagnosis y' know.

Oh now I forgot what I meant to write further but anyway, I guess I will write down something else I intended to have a bit of a shocking manner and almost forgor to bring up

You know cigarettes? We should get rid of them, eh? And the poor, especially homeless, get into them and it takes so much money! Aside from the intoxicating effect, they, besides some more bodily ones I may not quite be able to bring up, help with hunger and some stuff.

And they can act as ADHD medication about some aspects of it. Very addictive, with extreme tolerance buildup, with extreme constant withdrawal issues since those are some really key receptors that nicotine binds to that you are getting very desensitized to some endogenous.. endocrines,, hormones.

That makes many of the users of it, more or less neuroatypical, using them not just in an entirely fallacious or stupidly intoxicative manner. Now note how cigarettes have been present in different manners of availability to people. In some social settings, they aren't a thing you can have lots of, a thing you can have in a consistent manner, a never-ending stream you can wash your money box in.

In some social settings, people without having cigarettes available often keep to a small number of them, they exchange small numbers of them, they get small deliveries they wait a very long time for sometimes.

In some social settings, people rely on them and yet give them to others. In case of something that broader society may recognize as entertainment and spare or just a regular supply, without there being a prescription for them, that seems like an obviously fine thing to do.

Let's think of the social settings where you had a prescription for basic supplies. In scarce, minimal, insufficient even amounts. Food? Water somewhere probably? Things that may be more needed on an individual basis but assigned to everyone equally? I wish I could have a better recollection of the tales to now analyze the parallels. And the some-need-all-receive-but-share-or-exchange situation is a reverse of the medical prescription situation but I think there might be lessons to learn from its analysis.

I'm bickering, eh? Rambling incoherently at that point? Well I actually have my hands shaking from hunger and I need to make myself a breakfast in a moment.

What are your thoughts on cannabis? It is now getting more and more recognized as a prescription anti-anxiety medication. Supposedly very hard to get, even if methylphenidate is sometimes hard to get too. Not without a reason, it isn't just a way to abuse the system to progress into legalizing it. You're maybe against sharing prescription stuff because this may anger the system? Even it wanting to wait it out as an intermediate phase of progress.

Note, friend, that whilst I do intend to share you the link to this blog post once I publish it, this isn't all with you in mind at all, and I know much stuff like this right here above probably doesn't match you. Even when writing that bullet list of reasons, I could only very sidely wonder about how much with which points am I hitting close to home for you, as I intended too much focus to get into a detailed recollection of all your sayings regarding yours; and I never even dared to ask you to hand me any! That was because I was right below my situational threshold for using up my stash, and that would be like borrowing money for living while still able to pay for a bit more than just rent.

By the way, you other friend who could help me find a doctor for an extremely easy and certain methylphenidate prescription easily enough maybe, because of how your help could be desirable to so many and that may strain you and affect the interpersonal, I avoid asking you for that favor.

I leave a lot as an exercise to the reader because I think I want to be done at this point, even though I got into it at this point (and methylphenidate did kick in). And I do need to get to food, especially before it will slowly more and more partially subside from the taking of methylphenidate.