Pigeons are overrated

Ok, first of all can I just say. I wasn’t always a pigeon hater, I quite liked them actually, I thought they looked very cute and derpy and I didn’t mind them at all.

But, ever since some of them started living in my balcony things haven’t been so cute and nice. 

1. My balcony is full of shit. Like straight bird shit, they keep shitting everywhere. They shit so fucking much, and I like any normal person don’t clean my balcony so the shit keeps piling up, til it rains and then the shit softens and then after the rain the shit dries up again and it all turns into one giant shit. And it smells like ass. 

2. Everyday, I freaking wake up and all I hear is “hoot hoot” from the pigeons outside, like they really tryna be owls it’s not even funny, they’re literal wannabes and I’m so over it. I can’t freaking sleep cause of how loud they are in the mornings. Like bro shut up.

3. Ok, listen, I have nothing against reproduction or mating. But holy shit, some days I wake up to pigeons humping and they re so aggressive with it, like it’s actually really loud. But I’m a good civilian, I mean no harm towards animals, so I go and politely knock so they keep it down. And they do! For a good 10 fucking seconds. I swear I’m so close to just stealing one of their eggs so they stop banging in my balcony, it’s garbalulu is what it is.

And honestly to finish all this off, pigeons aren’t even that cool. Has anyone seen black sicklebill birds? My god they’re fucking sick, honestly they’re so underrated I feel like they really deserve more love, their way of attracting mates is so damn awesome bro. Yk why couldn’t that live in my balcony