More Like Crime Boss: Okay City

So seemingly, as a dig against Starbreeze, Bo Andersson, former head of Starbreeze and man that went balls deep into VR and wasted millions trying to become the Elon Musk of VR made Crime Boss free-to-play from yesterday (September 7th to 11th) lining up perfectly with the PAYDAY 3 Server Stress Test. I have no idea what Bo was cooking but I decided to humor him and actually try the game myself. After the logos did their logo-ing, Firefox opened on my second monitor to let me know that Crime Boss wanted to link to my EGS account. Odd but okay. After a while, the game finally started up and I decided to go through with the tutorial. I get told by Not-Chains that I would sneak through the back while the rest of my crew stayed outside. I walk for not even 15 seconds when the game crashes due to low video memory. Keep in mind that I only had Steam, EGS, Discord and Xbox in the background because I finally had enough space on my main drive for Forza 4 but that's for another day. After taking care of the civilians and two guards, I open the front door and the bots start bagging the loot and taking it to the van when they couldn't carry anymore. A surprise but a welcome one. After making sure I got everything, I waited by the van to escape but I realized that I had to go to the passenger side and hold F to escape. Weird but whatever. After that, I decide to hop into the single player mode which is a rougelike in which you play as the new baddie in town, Travis Baker. After a cinematic intro sequence, (that was really laggy for me for whatever reason) I'm thrust onto the rooftop of a bank and am told to wait for an escape. FF about 5 minutes and one of my teammates go down. i try to help him up but get shot to death by a cop. Chuck Norris then asks "Why did I beat you?" in probably one of the most monotone deliveries I've ever heard and I am then given three permanent boosts to get. More health, reduced recoil or more damage. I pick more damage and a similar looking cinematic intro plays. I am then tasked to get some ""candy"" but the people transporting it got ambushed. I'm thrown into a revival tutorial and get my teammate back up and spent what felt like 10 minutes of repetitive shooting and making sure the bad guys don't get our ""candy"". After that, i'm told to get rid of some gang members to initiate a turf war. After dealing with some gangsters that definitley did not sound like gangsters, their captain shows up and dies after ~15 shots to the head. I'm then told to go sell all my ""candy"" to jumpstart my career and go meet an old friend named Touchdown. After helping him, I went to just steal anything valuable from a strip mall and then after that, I got bored, quit and uninstalled the game.

The game looks good and the gameplay is fine but man can it get repetitive and boring after a while. I could care less for the story especially since the cutscenes are really freakin laggy for me for no real reason and not to mention Chuck Norris's performance as himself reminds me of Ron Pearlman's performance as Rust in PAYDAY 2. High-profile actors that gave middling performances for their respective characters. So in conclusion, Crime Boss: Rockay City? More like Okay City

Final Rating:
5/10