jack and spam road trip

jack was minding his own business, just clocking out of his shift as the local fast food place he worked at, he was forced to do trash duty since he was the last to leave for the night, he always hated trash duty the back ally of the restaurant was always to dim and it creeped him out, he opened the bin a tossed the trash inside we then went to go back inside but he felt something tug on his leg, he turned around an saw nothing there he shrugged it off and got into his truck, he started to happily drive down the road listening to the night time radio, it played older songs that no one really cared for anymore but jack enjoyed it all the same, he sang along to some of the tunes he heard, soon the song stopped and jack just keeped driving but he had to stop when he heard rustling in the back seat of his truck, he quickly pulled over to the side of the road and almost forced his way out of his truck, he grabbed his bat that he always kept in the passenger side of his car, he yanked open the door to the back seats of his car and saw a small, doll like creature happily chewing on a bone most likely from a fast food bucket jack had forgotten in his truck, the doll creature that was hunched over in the backseat still hadn't noticed he'd been found, until jack made quite the confused sound he really expected that a person had snuck into his truck, he was ready to bat the little fucker in his comically large face but decided not to when it let out a garbled noise of fear?

"WOAH! WOAH! [HOLD YOUR HORSES] I'M JUST A [LITTLE BIRTHDAY BOY] PLEASE DON'T STRIKE ME!" Jack reluctantly lowered his bat and stared at the now shaking doll like darker that was sat in his backseat, the little man was dressed in a ratty old black suit jacket which was covered in dirt and badly sewn on patches most of them were hanging onto the jacket by a single thread, he also had on a pair of what seemingly used to be white slacks that were just as torn up as his suit jacket and of course covered in dirt making them more of a grimey brown color instead, his face was seemingly that of a strange doll or puppet type of thing and his hair was messly gel or perhaps glued back to give a permanent slicked back hair style and on the bridge of his nose sat a pair of bi-colored glasses one lens pink and the other yellow jack didn't seem to be able to see his real eyes from behind the lenses, he looked like a rat from the dumpster.

"What in the hell are you and what are you doing in my truck" jack stared at the small doll like creature still sat in his truck by now the doll was shaking in it's shabby old dress shoes, poor thing looked like it was going to cry from terror jacks posture eased up a little bit, this doll creature didn't seem to want to cause jack or his belongs any harm he sighed and spoke in a calmer tone this time.

"Please state your name, and a reason on why your in my truck" the doll seemed to relax as he took a sharp breath out (can he even breathe?)

"I'm spamton! [spamton g spamton!] N1ce to m3et you [JACK TAKE OUT THE TRASH!]" Jack jumped back as he heard his bosses voice come through the dolls broken voice box? This spamton fellow seemed to have been accidentally picked up when he took the trash out and it seemed to have figured out his name from listening to his bosses yellings, great.

"Alright, that's a little spooky, um don't do that again" jack soon placed his bat into a little holder loop on his pants and looked back at spamton who seemed to still be just chewing on a discarded bone while staring at jack, that was quite unnerving to say the least

"You don't have to stare at me ya know... I'm not an zoo attraction" this caused spamton to snap his head away from jacks direction and instead down at the floor of the truck.

"Y0ur [pretty as a picture] no, y0ur b3tt3r th4n th@t [promise! Promise!]" Spamton muttered nonsense under his breath as he looked as his dangling legs which could barley touch the trucks messy flooring

"What was that, spamtron?"

"N0THING! N0TH1NG [dear customers] 4ND ITS [SPAMTON G SPAMTON] NOT SP4MTR0N, I'M A [best salesman since cera 1997] NOT A [AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT]" alright, that's weird, jack gave spamton a odd look at the strange audio clips left the puppets mouth

"Huh a salesmen? That's uh... Odd you look quite scruffy for a salesman" jack looked the puppet up and down this caused spamton to jump to his feet he carefully balanced on a few box's and looked into jacks eyes, at least jack thought he was it was hard to tell with spamtons glasses they only reflected jacks face back to him

"LIST3N H3RE Y0U [fast food takeout] I'M A B3TT3R [NUMBER 1 RATED SALESMAN] TH4N Y0U! AND I'M M0R3 OF A [BIG SHOT] TH@N Y0U'LL 3VER B3" Jack was taken aback by the puppets angry tone and his bad breath, Jack sighed and looked down at the living doll in his truck

"So... You heading somewhere? I'll give you a free ride if your going close to my place" the salesman smiled like an unhinged well salesman who'd just won the mother load

"Y3S! Y3S A FR33 RID3! ID LOV3 TO [drive my van-] W1TH Y0U!" Jack let out a snicker at the dolls response

"Yeah but where you heading cause like hell am I letting you know where I live unless you live near me" the puppets jaw flopped open and he started to produce a horrific static sound

"W3LL!... W3LL! UH i L1V3 1N THE [dumpst3r fire]" Jack felt guilt wash over him as he let out a sigh

"Yeah I know what your on about... I think anyways, you live in trash zone I'm guessing" spamton perked up and a laugh track played from his rancid frame

"C0R3CT! [TRASH ZONE]!!! MY HUM8LE AB0D3!!" Jack snickered again and closed the door locking spamton inside

"WOAH! WOAH! [HOLD YOUR HORSES]!! D0N'T YOU W4NT TO [BANG AND THE DIRT IS GONE]!?" Spamton started to pull on the door handle while making a whining sound? That's the best way to describe it, jack hopped into the front seat and buckled his seat belt

"Lucky you, I live right next to the trash zone so your coming with me, you wan-" before Jack finished spamton had already begun to climb into the passenger seat, he hit the seat with a plop and quickly snapped his head to face Jack, who looked slightly distured 

"[YIPPEE] C4R R1D3S!!! L3T'S GET [THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD] MY [STAR SHO-" Spamton snapped his mouth shut before the last auto clip could finish, it was for the best, jack jolted at the sudden snap sound but quickly started his truck and started to drive off.

They sped by the stricking neon lights of cyber city, bright blues and garish green hues flooded their vison as they drove down the surpisingly quite roads, they both sat in silance for a little while there was a slight hint of static in the air, jack let out a sigh and began to speak in a soft hushed tone

"so you never realy did answer my question, what were you doing in my truck?" spamton pirked up and turned his huge doll like head to face jack before letting his jaw unhinge 

"WELL [dear customer] I WAS LOOKING FOR [[food gloryous food-]] AND YOUR LITTLE [GET AWAY VEHICLE] SMELT OF [fresh fresh de-] SNACKS!" spamton stared at jack or more stared through him with a painted on smile, jack shudderd and tried to keep his eyes on the road ahead  

"oh right yeah, i understand that though you could of just waited and could of got you some free semi fresh stuff, just dont make a habit of breaking into my truck alright?" some how spamtons smile seem to get wider and more real? spamton rappidly nodded his head which made a slight creacking sound as he moved and he hapily watched the road as they continued to drive.

Soon jack stopped the truck and turned to spamton with a tired look 

"alright little guy this is your stop, need me to help you out the door?" spamton looked out his window and did indeed see trash zone waiting for him, soon a quiet static sound started to slowly fill the air, jack slowly reached over to spamton 

"hey spamton? you doing alright?" but before he could place a hand on spamton he quickly jolted back to life and slammed his hand into the passanger side door before gripping the handle and prying it open

"NO THANK YOU! I AM [fully cappiable] BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING AND THANK YOU FOR THE [quick run around town] I WILL BE SEEING YOU [next turn around]" spamton swiftly opened the door and hit the ground with a soft thud, before he took his first step towards the trash zone he turned to jack and with a quite static filled voice bid his goodbyes and began to walk further into trash zone, jack jolted as the door slammed behind spamton and he quickly started his truck and started driving home.