the thing about having 

an alcoholic parent

is an alcoholic parent 

does not exist

simply

an alcoholic

who could not stay sober

long enough to raise their kids

i stopped loving you

i left because the longer

i stayed the less

i loved myself

my mother
smiled
as she offered
a cube of
sugar
in her
upturned palm.

greedily,
i accepted.

i reached inside
my mouth,
delicately placing one
(just one)
on the center
of my tongue,
& i clamped
down.

salt.

this is what abuse is:
knowing you are
going to get salt
but still hoping for sugar
for nineteen years.

- you may be gone, but i still have a stomachache.

just because they don’t hit you 

doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse.   

wouldn’t you think it a crime to look up at the night sky & tell the stars that they have no sparkle?   guess what? 

you shine brighter than all the starlight there has ever been or ever will be.  

 - emotional abuse is still abuse.