babble

i honestly am not even in the mood to write but the way i feel i need too its excruciating. anyway, long story short, im not looking for sympathy, just looking to babble. this site is cute anyway and i haven't used it in over a year, so i decided to just start using it when i feel i have no one to talk to, including my boyfriend, currently. anyway, recently we had a talk and he asked me if he was a good boyfriend and what he could do better. i told him that sometimes he will like do this thing, i dont even know how to explain it, it's similar to the silent treatment but it's not. i do NOT like when he does this, and i tell him this a lot. personally im very open with my emotions and they're extremely important to me, even if i feel psychotic- im a sensitive bitch. and i KNOW that. anyway, i told him he should try to stop doing that because it really makes me overthink like what the hell did i do wrong? when i dd nothing wrong. today, he did it again. mind you, we had this conversation literally like 2 nights ago. ATP i just give it up, i almost mask to get a point cross that it pisses me off and he never fixes it even when he himself asks what he can do better. i love him, very much. but genuinely i feel like its just in one ear and out the other. i cut off a lot of people for him, and ATP, that doesn't even bother me, its the fact that he treats me like a whore when im nowhere near a whore. he treats me like hes not the only person i talk to. all day, while hes at work, im here, at my house, WAITING for him to be off so i can see him. he has major trust issues from his previous relationship WITH a whore. i just truly wish, especially after a fucking year, he would trust me, and stop comparing me to that bitch. its SO tiring. anyway thats my babble, gonna go do something else now idek. sit and stare at my ceiling for fucks sake i do nothing.