sometimes i hate mai hyperfixations ...

sometimes i just really hate having hyperfixations .. i want to like things normally and if i see someone hating on it, just be able to go about mai day !!!!!!!!

one of my biggest hyperfixations is kyman. the south park ship. i love them sm and they mean a lot to me. but, and if you are involved with the south park fandom at all you know this, its a very VERY hated ship. ppl put it together with proships (which it's not, but thats a topic for another blog post another day) and it is constantly bashed on.

recently i was on discord and someone on the same server as me made a thread hating on kyman, saying kyman shippers should kts and stuff like that. That night i cried ... a lot about it. i felt completely gutted, i felt like everyone hated me and it was just terrible.

i thought that night i was just overly emotional, that i wouldn't break down like that again becuz of someones opinion ...

but i was wrong :(( 

today i opened twitter like usual, just planning to scroll around. but not even five minutes later there was a tweet on my feed, hating on kyman, lumping it in with all the really terrible stuff... it hurt a lot again. i felt so crushed, it physically hurt and i had to distract myself from crying cuz i was at work. it hurt really bad

i know how silly and stupid this sounds !!! its just a couple of cartoon characters !! i hate how much it affects me, i feel ridiculous. 

thats why i say i hate my hyperfixations .. not the things themselves, but because i get so so emotional over things that are so arbitrary !! it kinda makes me feel like a bad person :(( i just want to enjoy things normally and not be so hurt when someone hates on it. i dont even care if ppl don't like it, you dont have to like what i like !!! but being so mean about it hurts a lot....

im gonna disable comments because i feel like people will miss the point of this blog post and bully me for it :((