time is going by a little too fast.

it's currently 21:07 on sunday. tomorrow the first full week of school starts for me. i'm trying not to be too nervous, i'm not very successful yet though. the years are going fast, i swear it's my first day here but i'm starting 11th grade now. graduation is closer and closer, i'm supposed to know which university i'll be going to by now.

i started this account because i can't find friends in my class, so instead of talking with others at recess i stare at the wall or read, quietly, stuck in my own world. it hurts a little when the bell rings and i have to come back and pay attention again.

but there's no use in stressing over time passing, don't think you have to do everything all at once. there's no "too late". it's okay if you're living out your childhood dreams as an adult, no need to be ashamed of that.

while i know i can't say much about this, as i'm still a teenager, sometimes i already feel like i have to act grown. it's a pressure noone else but myself is putting on me- and i try to escape by coloring books, watching cartoons i grew up on, and whatever this is. 

this post ended up a little more depressing and messier than i planned. writing all this out calms me; and i want to encourage you to do the same.

i know it will get better someday. and it will get better for you too. sometimes it's hard to believe in myself, and you probably feel this way too, but just know: i believe in you. be proud of the person you became; your younger self is probably very proud too.