Zilla, Zombie, and My Views on Everyday Life 9/1/23

I have two reptiles by the name of Zilla and Zombie. Zilla is named after the band Bongzilla, and Zombie being named after... a zombie lol. I like the Z theme and its unique, I love unique things. I feel as of all the pet names in the world no one ever uses names that start with Z. Whats the deal with that? anyway, I got Zilla when she was just a baby and now she is growing up so fast. I feel like the parent of a real child, just exempt from all the steps. Although, in several ways having reptiles can be like having real human children, just no back talk. They grow right before your eyes, there living beings with feelings and a soul, they require constant care and love, and they cost so much fucking money!! I am still in high school, working check to check to provide for my reptiles!!! like a single mother. That's not entirely true I'll admit, I love spending money on myself and others. The amounts I don't spend on Zilla and Zombie go to new piercings, hair dye, dramatic jewelry, and cool spooky items to fill the gaping flesh holes in the lobes of my ears. (I like saying I have stretched ears like that, it's more exciting and morbid) And maybe a concert as well. Zombie is a baby ball python, She is around a year old and this is the second week I have had her. From the day I got her from the pet store we clicked. I let her acclimate for a bit and then started taking her out almost daily, whether it's sitting in my room, cleaning up the house, you name it she stays on my neck. She loves my head, she wraps around it completely oblivious that I have a face, burrowing in my collar bone length hair. (Wait till she finds out it grows) Today may be the first day I actually take her out into the public like a lot of snake owners do, knowing her personality she is social and wonderful. A truly enchanting being. I already get backlash just from being a goth (if you've read my past blogs or uhh.. seen my account lol) I can only imagine what having a snake looped around my neck like Medusa would do to a... normal person. *gags* But it's not as bad out in public as it is in school, I try not to refer to school as public because everyone who goes there isn't a real person to me. It's like going to school is the stage of a robot cyborg-type movie which creeps me the fuck out. Everyone walking, talking, and eating in sync with each other. Loud, obnoxious NPCs to show diversity in the movie to follow the stages of "The Hero's Journey" I've learned about for now the 5th year in a row. And the rare but not unlikely active threat who has a virus or bug in their computer's coding system, or however the fuck that works idk. When the world is invented by white men everyone is bland and the same. I was talking to my therapist yesterday about what happened at school and she tried to stress to me that when the world is made up by these bland leaders, since the beginning of time when someone sees the unknown their social cue is to laugh or run away. Maybe a psychological sense of fight or flight mode when they see my face, its not their fault, nor their parent's fault I've come to learn. It's broken History. Salem Witch Trials, Satanism, Marilyn Manson, The first person to ever have a piercing. They set the standard, and the outcasts like myself follow, in an attempt to break away from the cyborgs of life. Our life is an art form, every step we take, every word we speak, every cell, every makeup look. We are liberating broken history. People in everyday society are fucking morons to not wake up to the agenda they have no idea they take part in. I even think the people who fetishize our people are even worse. They trick and fool us vulnerable outcasts looking for at least one person to accept us and they use it for a sick sexual fetish. With all that said, you probably think why even be goth? why be alternative? And the answer is... I don't know. Any sane person would probably think all this is just too much for everyday life ON TOP of how crooked the world is already (going back to the white male politician figure) For me I do believe I am slightly crazy, or maybe I have a bug in my computer system but I take it and run fast as hell away from the clone copies of a broken society in a broken world. It's who I am, and it could be that simple but it never will be. In that, it's art, something that's left open for interpretation to the viewer, or something that's designed to make you think, or throw up and feel hate. I wish everyday people could view me as a walking piece of art but it will never happen, except for the ones just like me who I love and cherish more than anything.