Am I Queer?

Do you ever feel like your chest is about to explode? Like if your heart expanded anymore it would seep through all the cracks in your body and consume you? I don't know if I like it or hate it. It's so confusing, feeling it while listening to love songs and reading romance books. Fantasising about someone doing those couple-y things with you. Most times I don't even know who I'm fantasising about, a faceless, gender less entity consuming my thoughts. Occasionally I'll try to replace my beloved entity for someone I know, I'll chose a person to crush on and imagine them in those scenarios. The same fluttery feeling will explode in my chest, but never as strong as the feelings that the faceless entity seems to draw out of me. Despite this, I'll still try to put someone I know into the aforementioned scenarios, lately it's been girls. The same girl to be exact, same blonde hair, same blue eyes, same witty personality. Is that what a crush is? I wouldn't be opposed to kissing her. Or to calling her my girlfriend. I think I might like it. I enjoy being close to her, touching her, talking to her. Do I even like this girl? Does that make me queer? I kind of want to be queer, is that fucked up? Anyways I've already rewritten this multiple times and I feel I am getting a bit of track so that's all for now. (P.s this is definitely an overwhelming cry for help, I don't know how to work through this so comment will be very much appreciated <3)

Thanks,

Sienna