Mental Health Rant/Update

This entry will just be me talking about how my mental health has been in which there will be mentions of depersonalisation, depression, anxiety, and SH. I need to get this out there. Even if no one replies to this, i want to get this out there and know that I'm not alone in this. 

I feel like I'm really losing my mind. School just started so that's more stress on my plate. Lately, my cat has gotten sick and it seems like he's only getting worse, even with medication. I see him as my own child and I'm not ready for him to go..  My papa is sick too and he's on his death bed. He's really the only one of my grandparents that I've been so close to. I feel so claustrophobic and shaky. I feel like I'm not even in my own body. It feels like I'm floating above my own body, watching from the 3rd person. I felt like my head was spinning, sitting there in my desk while the teachers talk on and on. 

I'm really just at my limit. I cry every day and It's tiring. I feel so physically and mentally exhausted and burnt out. I want to curl up into a ball and let the earth open up and swallow me whole. I feel so lost and distraught.. I feel so fucking defeated.. My life feels like it's falling apart. I thought i was doing so much better and now that i look at myself, it's been the absolute opposite...