the horrors

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me when i want to start veiling sooner or later but i don't own any hijabs, have no job, and cannot buy anything without my parents because i have no account (also because i have no job), but i cannot ask my parents because haven't told them of any of my religious stuff because even though i know they would support me and always want the best for me, they wouldn't understand and it would confused them which would only worsen our relationship and drive us further apart :

okay, TW territory : racism, islamiphobia, antisemitism, physical abuse

also my yt family already acts racist like crazy and i hate them for it so like imagine how worse that would get for me wearing the hijab. my step-dad would make a terrorist joke eventually then be like "what!! i was just joking." I KNOW IT. HE WOULD. he already racistly makes fun of chinese around me all the time. like so rude.

and yknow if i found even one of his offensive jokes funny and laughed even a little bit he would take that as a sign that its perfectly okay to make those jokes with people who arent your close family or arent apart of the group being made fun of at all, bcus he does that with my jewish cousin and antisemitic jokes. my cousin makes a holocaust joke with him and my step-father was proudly saying it in a car filled entirely with people who are not jewish. then whenever we were like "hey that's not okay" he was like "what !! it was just a joke, it was LITERALLY (cousin)'s joke that he told me." 

so that immediately makes it okay for you to say it now?? your nephew joking with you about something that actually affects him makes it okay for you a very much not jewish person to joke about the slaughter of countless people ? (who ALSO may i remind you used to, every single time my family brought up being part german, do the nazi salute and yell "heil hitler" + random german words... how do u act xenophobic towards germans for nazism and then be antisemetic at the same time. make it make sense.) 

he's like this with everything too, one time he joked about my mother and us getting abused by my bio father while we were driving, literally after she had a seizure. are you serious. "haha dont worry i wont make you pick up the volcanic stones" THATS FUNNY TO YOU ?? and then he was like "no i wasnt making fun of you getting abused i was making fun of how absurd he is and how crazy it is that he did that" randomly bringing up an extremely traumatic event where your wife was horrifically abused literally out of no where is bad in and of itself, but making it into a joke is wild. if she was talking to you about it an you made a joke about how stupid he is thats okay but when you bring it up out of nowhere and SAY IT LIKE THAT you are not making fun of him youre making fun of us. you are making a joke about how we were abused, you are making fun of the fact that we were abused. THE JOKE IS AT OUR EXPENSE !!