my first kiss

First kisses are always a big deal when you're a teenager and haven't got your first kiss. i never imagined it as something so romantic, with flowers and a sunset or whatever, i was just wondering if it was gonna be with someone i love or not. i had a few smooches before but they were my friends for truth or dare and i had never kissed a guy before so it didn't count for me.

that night we were celebrating one of my good friends's birthday, and we were maybe 20, stuck in a small apartment with the only distraction being... countless of alcohol bottles. and what average mentally ill teenager would say no to forgetting their problems? not me. so me and my at the time crush start drinking together. we had this thing where at every party we would only hang out together but outside of the parties, we wouldn't even say a word to each other. i wasn't really fazed about it, it was fine how it was. so its around 10 pm. i'm drunk. we went into the forest near my friend's apartment and he told me later that i took off my top, threw it at him, and started running toward nothing. that's awkward to think about, and i don't even remember it.

so later we head back to the house and i throw myself on the couch, asking him to bring me my lip balm, because my lips were dry. he leaves but i can see through the glass door of the balcony that my friends basically kidnapped him and were making big moves and stuff, but my drunk mind was unable to comprehend what they were talking about.

so i don't remember how, but i got upstairs, in the corridor and i remember my friend asking me for how much do i kiss {my crush's name}. and i say random words to avoid saying for how much i would actually kiss him.. and they insist, they're taking my drunk ass by the shoulders asking me if i can still hear them and i get pissed off by their pressure, i turn to my crush, grab his face between my hands, and kiss him.

i remember thinking then "that's gonna be a funny story between us after the summer break lol. it's gonna be awkward when we see each other again in september." it wasn't the best kiss honestly. it was quick, vodka infused and... moist. and the only thing i remember about it is the fact that he was wearing a white t-shirt and i was wearing a t-shirt with "cherry coke" wrote on it. that's all.

i remember also the white shirt because i cried that night (my best friend had passed out in the bathtub from drinking too much) and i got makeup all over his shirt.

we've now been dating for two months (exactly two months today!) and it's been going well.

i really love him and even if it wasn't the best first kiss, i'm happy it was him.