GBE #3 What would I tell my 9th grade self

What would I tell my 9th grade self?

Knowing what I now know about PsA, I would tell myself, "Be strong."

"All the pain you are having, the symptoms you are experiencing are real. They are not in 'your head'. You are not being an 'attention seeker.' Speak up until someone listens. If you have to, seek medical aid on your own. Don't let your mom gaslight you, because she's a nurse and she 'knows what she's talking about.'  She has no clue. You keep getting misdiagnosed. Not a lot of doctors realize, yet, that the onset of Psoriatic Arthritis hits right around 15. 

(Oh, by the way, you're lactose intolerant, too. That's why you always got sick at Kelly's house and had to go home. Too much milk. Your Dad was right, there was something really wrong with you. Your mom was wrong, you weren't trying to get attention.)

You are not going insane. It is not normal growing pains when every joint from your fingers to your shoulders hurt from typing class.

It's not normal to wake up every morning with your knees screaming.

It's not normal for your hearing to go from strong to weak, then back again, when you're having pain. But, you will be ok. You'll figure out how to navigate these stormy waters. You will figure out how to work around the pain.

I am proud of you for continuing to live an active life, and not letting the pain stop you. I am proud that you have let your experiences mold you into a compassionate person that can see other's internal pain, when most will overlook it. I am proud that you haven't taken your life to stop the pain. I am proud of YOU.

Don't forget to enjoy the pain free days. And, please, don't waste them. Hike, climb, cliff jump until you can't. Jump from that rope swing, learn how to snow ski(don't wait until you're 30). Get in that kayak, ride those rapids. Jump on the back of a horse. Give thanks to the Lord when you have good days, as well as thanking Him for the bad. Because, it's the bad days that make the good so much better.

Most importantly keep telling yourself that this pain will not define who you are. You are A Child of God. You are fierce. You are kind. You are beautiful, compassionate, empathetic. You can move mountains with your words alone. I have seen you do it. "