im fine .

Dec 6, 22

I want to take a hammer

And smash my brain to pieces

Watch as my frontal lobe

Shatters

My cerebellum

Bleeding

Finally at peace with my brain in pieces

I go to class

Im supposed to be working

But I just reread every book

Ive read before

Kind of illegally downloaded

But don’t tell anyone about that

I go to lunch

We vape and laugh

Everything seems alright

I go home

My dad gets mad

I cry

My mom is tired

I forget to feed my dog

I smoke near my window

I dissociate

I diss-o-ci-ate

I sleep

Im calm

I daydream whenever I wake up 

In the middle of the night

I wake up

I cant get out of bed

I think

Of all the assignments

And tests

And finals

And graduation

And not graduating

Over and over

Unemployment

Homelessness

Death

Its fine.

Its always fine.

Im fine.

n.c.