rambling

it's getting difficult to see beyond the day to day life i live in a way that's healthy and offers a path forward. i'm finding myself questioning if i'm living the same week over and over, and i've yet to find a conclusive answer. supposedly things will improve when my pay rate maxes out. but then again, i was told that things would improve when we moved. and before that, i was told that things would improve when i got a job. if anything, life has gotten increasingly stressful. no one talks to me. well, that's a lie. partially, at least. people do talk to me, but only when they need me to do something. do some task they don't want to, talk to someone for them, et cetera. my life isn't mine. i constantly bow and bend for people who wouldn't notice if i were gone tomorrow. what's the point?