Blog #3 8/21

I have had a weekend full of thinking

With that whole F and K thing 

And the tv show Freaks and Geeks

And a church sermon

These three things have meshed into a mass and have seeped into the wrinkles of my brain

So the F and K thing, simple why I would think about it right? K had a hissy fit and told me to kill myself, F spiraled and that is making me reconsider being friends with him

Well the sermon/message at church yesterday was “The gift of forgiveness” and was about how forgiving someone of what they have done to you truly sets yourself free from the problem

This is oddly relevant to my situation, right?

I mean, I’ve thought about it since then, and I don’t want to forgive him, because hey! What the hell man! Don’t do that! He has also said many things that are things that he can not say. So. Forgiveness doesn’t seem right for him. But like, it would kind of end it right? If I say “I forgive you” what can he do against it(I am planing(imagining in my head) that I would do this in person so he can’t hide behind a screen). 

So this leads to Freaks and Geeks, Fs&Gs is a tv show about 2 groups of highschoolers in the 80s trying to get through it. One of the main characters Lindsey, is a smart girl who wants to befriend some of the schools “freaks”, a group of kids who skip school and have bad grades and such. Simple premise. Well Lindsey has moments where this group of kids does something immoral or bad and what not and she just realizes that she doesn’t agree with what they’ve done. That is similar to how I feel with this group of boys. They’re fine and then they just say the most egregious thing and I go “What am I doing with these people?”. Lindsey is trying to find her people, people who aren’t the good two shoes’ she used to hang out with, but not bad people like the freak group but she just can’t find an in between so she sticks with the freak group. It’s not that they’re all bad all the time and that makes staying worth it but there’s just moments where you see her reconsider this group. I’m trying to find my people, and this group of boys, who I’ve honesty just kind of rammed myself into, is my best hope. 

I’m considering just leaving the group, you know?

Just going up to K, F and X(other guy) in the morning and going, “Hey, I don’t really like your group! I’m leaving the Discord and would like it if you leave me alone! Thank you, have a good day!” And booking it to my Tech Theatre class.

I really want to talk about this with my mom but she’s outside with my dad and I don’t know when he’ll come back in.

Here’s to a better week!