Struggling with task initiation is the worst I literally just wanna do things :((

This is one of those things where many AuDHDers ponder if it's more the autism or the adhd but I feel like when you have both it's not like having 2 separate things that clash together sometimes it's like they morph into one big thing and the experience can be very different from just having 1 (which is not to argue whether any experience is easier or harder). I feel like having both makes some of the overlapping traits especially harder for me. Task initiation is one of the things that plagues me the most. It's EXTREMELY frustrating. It feels so overwhelming to do literally anything even if the thing is something I really enjoy. Plus when I get into my bigger depressed episodes I usually drop everything for however long the episode lasts and then it feels impossible to pick everything back up. I haven't watched anime in literal years because of this and there's so many that I want to watch. I have so many unplayed games on Steam and for my ps4. I have a huge stack of unread books in my room and I'm falling behind on nearly all of my webtoons. Despite all of this I'm super bored practically every day because I feel too overwhelmed to do anything but lay in bed and watch tiktok all the time. Doing all this nothing is really fatiguing which I always found kind of ironic. I've been able to get myself to go excersise at the studio frequently which is good but other than that I can't motivate myself to do much of anything unless it's with someone else because body doubling really helps me. I always feel a sense of urgency from body doubling cuz like there's someone there who will notice I'm falling short of whatever I should be doing or if we're meant to be doing it together then I'm literally making them wait or letting them down and I can't do that. When it's just me, myself, and I it can be really hard to accomplish anything. I've been meaning to start doing masculinizing vocal training for like 2 years and still haven't :/ (thank goodness for T ig but I still gotta do voice training lol). Thinking about this because as I type this out I'm waiting for my friend to be ready to play games with me and when I have something planned that's all I'm doing for the day so I mentally cannot get myself to do anything rn and they still need another hour and a half. I wouldn't have gotten up with early but I also had therapy today and now I'm stuck and bored. Really need to figure out how to get around the overwhelm of starting a task but idk how to start (end me /lh).