Out of Pocket statements

This will be updated semi-regularly (or for as long as I remain the out-of-pocket friend)

LAST UPDATED : 31/08/23

"You can tickle his bootyhole with your pencil dick for all I care"

"The Sahara Desert is wetter than me when I think of you"

"If I wanted to fuck a lizard I'd go to a zoophile convention" (In reference to my bf's dry skin)

"Don't use body scrub on your penis it will not make it softer you'll just get a yeast infection"

"I want your friend dead" (While looking at said friend)

"The things I'd let most of the Call of Duty characters do to me make a brothel seem like a celibate club meetup party"

"Oh you wanna know my source? My sauce is BOLOGNESE"

"If you were magically a turned into a frog and you hopped up to me and went ribbit ribbit rib-ribbit and i magically understood frog language i'd pick you up and A-EH A-EH until you pop, or i'd put you in a little plastic box and shake you up like THUD THUD THUD until you where a nothing but a blob slopping around in the box ... Or maybe i'd put you in a little pond in my home and keep you and feed you dragonflies until you died. Then I would disect you so I can learn more about frogs that where once human but where turned into frogs with magic."

"It's not my fault you have the iceberg that sunk the titanic between your legs"

"Shawty... I can't call you that anymore"

"he looks like a yellow peanut m&m (deogratory)"

"Well yeah, coffee flavoured things are not cake flavoured"

"bazinger!"

"You should work for real things, like crack"

"It's like a marvel fighting sim. ... i wanna be spongebob"

"mmm. i.. *chewing noises* love priggles *gulp*" (Mouth full of pringles)

"i love getting fisted" (I got punched in a game)

"Soldier is the best for sex"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMM cum cum"

"i am now a spy main"

"THAT IS A PHALLIC SHAPED BUILDING"

"i can't fucking escape"

"if gorot" (i meant to say i forgot)

"The teleporter is real"

"... yeah"

"i really love mpreg actually"

"WOAH"

"i have g- i have big boobs ... i have a big dick"

"So if you hire cooks does that make you a kok owner"

"SORRY I GOTTA GO"

"stop piss-shitting"

"fonr"

"8000 SUBSCRIBERS AND I WILL MAKE THIS REAL PORN"

"are you pissing on my dick right now?"

"fake cum jar."