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ive been thinking so much about what the hell im supposed to do with my life lately. university summers are way too long. 4 and a half months of being trapped in my own mind going from ambitious to lethargic in an instant, every hour of the day. especially before i got this new job. i have so much i want to work on, but that i know i wont be able to finish before im back at uni. and i know its gonna be a tough and busy year, much more so than my last one. so i feel like ive thrown away an opportunity to actually do something months ago.
i find it hard to be motivated to do anything over the summer, i like a schedule, so having my own free time and having to plan out my days independent of education or work that i actually stick to is really challenging. but now ive got that because i started a part time job. its got me thinking lately that i wouldnt mind just working some normal job and being an indie cartoonist in my free time. it still satisfies my dreams of being a director bc id be in charge of my own work. it's just a bit tougher than the simplicity of having a set role in a studio, or being on a temporary contract, and it would take a long time for things to get done. but it means stability and satisfaction in the work im doing, i think.
i dont know, i had a lot of fun at uni last year, i like the people and staff there, but i really do feel intimidated by how easy it can be for others to draw fast or just know what theyre doing and do like one million projects outside of school. i think its impressive, i just get a little jealous i think. i want to finish uni, but id also feel bad for 'wasting' an opportunity that not a lot of people get. but it seems a lot of animation graduates end up this way anyway, i follow a lot of alumni from my school and its either people who did more school or got internships and then worked for those studios, or its people working everyday jobs and drawing on the side. i dont think that makes the work they do any less valuable. but i also know how exciting the idea of working on big projects is.
i dont know. i just feel like i was made for something smaller lately. the same way i feel that technology has developed a little too fast, like we should have slowed down a bit, kept working with the stuff that takes time, that makes it a whole long frustrating process. i cant keep up with how fast paced and ever changing the world of games and animation is, and im especially fucked as a 2D frame by frame animator. i know im gonna have to really learn 3D properly if i want a decent job and that just sucks i think... i like 3D animation but i suck at the basics and now every movie wants to rip off spiderverse's style. i cant fuckin do spiderverse animation. help
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PIP
well, write it down, think about it; what do you actually want from your life?
how do you feel right now? do you like how you feel right now?
whats your future goals, why are they future goals? whats stopping you?
if its you, then talk to a professional; try to identify the root cause.
if you've lost motivation, then change directions, see new things, do things you are curious about and surround yourself with people in those aspects.
taking a interuption from studies was the best and worse thing i've done. in the aspect of i have free time and i can do what i want, but i also lack that motivation. so i set challanges for myself, do fun things while also doing that. so for example, sleep in days, sure rest is important, but also set out goals, learn something new, learn coding, learn a new language, connect with other people through communities like discord of people also learning that.
i'm autistic, so i heavily understand needing a schedule. however, i know how uncertain life is, so, as i said above, do that, but also have backup plans too if that's something you struggle with. if things change, its ok to take time to process that.
as for your examples; go to a voluntary drama group, do comissions for art, research and learn about art styles, develop your own, maybe incoperate them both.
everyones learning life at a different pace at different lessons. some people have gone through hell to learn things you can learn from by watching a youtube video. we are here to experience the universe and everything it entails not to compare ourselves to other peoples processes. turn jealousy into motivation.
2d is still flavourful in a lot of ways, maybe get into helping revive old websites, games, people get paid for that. there are people who want people like you to help add to this amazing internet universe.
hope this helps man!
thank you, this honestly reassures me a lot. gotta do less thinking and be a bit more proactive u_u
by frankostein; ; Report
:) i hope it works out for you
by PIP; ; Report