Lazy

Since I’m too lazy to post a bunch of pictures here and because it takes ages, here’s a few Facebook updates I posted recently. Not all of them them are about travel  

April 7- Quick story. I was walking around Tokyo the other day and had to use the bathroom, just #1. So I went inside a shopping mall and asked this employee “where is the restroom?”. He didn’t speak any English at all and couldn’t understand what I was saying. I tried to simplify my question by saying “toilet?” cause most people know that word. Still nothing. So I rubbed my belly and said “PP” and he said ”oohhh” and pointed to the escalator. I said thanks and headed that way. So I go #1 and leave the mall. Well like a whole day later I come to find out according to my gf “PP” means diarrhea so there’s that.

April 9- Wasn’t planning on eating jellyfish today, but hey when in Rome. Not a fan. Also not planning on seeing a group of Japanese dudes at the train station dancing to “I rock rough n stuff with my afro puffs”. Kind of hilarious actually.

May 5- If you’re ever arguing with your Japanese girlfriend just yell “WE WON THE WAR!” and you automatically win the argument. Works for me every time.

May 12- I have no idea why Facebook always wants to show me fishing videos in my newsfeed. And before you ask, YES OF COURSE I click on every single one, I’m trying to see what these people are catching! 😂 At least mix it up a little, show me some funny stuff or cute animals or something ya know. Use that TikTok algorithm

May 13- I just right now for the first time realized chia pets grow from chia seeds.

May 27- Thanks for the birthday wishes. Here’s a few random thoughts for you. 

1 I think about dying everyday

2 If I were a woman I’d be so afraid of having a baby

3 It’s really nice to be in a country where there’s zero fear of being shot by someone

4 The only thing I miss about Hawaii are the sunsets

5 Nobody knows all the words to Bone Crossroads

June 2- For anyone else who feels old and struggling (or just giving up trying) to understand the youth and their slang, “rizz” is short for charisma. I just found that out.

June 3- Of all the words white people have stolen from black people (there’s so so many), “woke” in my opinion, has had the most hilariously adulterated results.

June 3- As unhealthy as some of it is, I miss American fast food so much. Taco Bell, Burger King, Chipotle, Jersey Mike’s ahhh I need it!

June 8- If you think Notorious BIG is on the same level as 2pac you’re crazy and I’m tired of pretending you’re not.

June 12- Wounds on Netflix is the dumbest movie I’ve seen in a really long time. The plot, if you can even call it that, is full of holes that don’t make sense and questions that never get answered. A completely unconvincing mess and waste of an hour and a half. I didn’t pay anything to see it but somehow I want my money back.

June 16- 12 days for Taiwan was probably too much. 4-5 would’ve been fine I think. It’s cool here just gotta find more things to see. It’s interesting because everyone speaks Mandarin but there’s still some Japanese influence since they ruled Taiwan for 50 years until the end of WW2. A lot of the buildings in Taipei are really old and visually deteriorating. The area I’m staying is Ximending in the Wanhua district. There’s tons of big stores and small shops and plenty to look at. I’m in a half mile radius of 3 different Adidas stores I have no idea why there’s so many. So far in 3 days I’ve seen 1 black person and 5 white people. Things aren’t as cheap as I thought they would be, maybe because it’s an island with a lot of imported goods. I’m trying to get some decent pictures for you guys I’ll post them when I head back to Japan.

June 16- Just ate raw garlic out of a strangers pocket in Taipei. Yolo

June 26- Airport security searched my bag when I came back to Japan this morning, probably because I look haggard and like I got weed on me. He took out my baby powder and said “what’s this?” I just made a shaking motion towards my groin like man you know how humid it is bro.

June 29- Anybody else get “social diarrhea”? Like every time I leave the house for a social gathering I get bubble guts. Why me God?

June 30- Sup Korea! Just came to get some plastic surgery since it’s so popular here

July 2- One thing I’ve noticed about the internet is someone is always going to hate what you do. Also, if there’s ever a movement that doesn’t believe in chafing I will start a movement against them. This is a weird post I know, bear with me.

July 3- I’m 30 miles from North Korea and that’s slightly funny/interesting to me. What’s also slightly funny/interesting to me is some of the women I used to be attracted to.

July 10- Seoul is kinda dirty. Everyone throws their cigarette butts and trash on the ground. Drivers honk non-stop like they’re in Manhattan rush hour. And people walk around picking their nose and casually bandaged up like it’s normal to get a nose job.

August 11- Geez, last night in Vietnam so what can I say? It’s been fun, it’s been interesting and it’s been dirty. A lot of the people are kinda rude and the traffic is lawless but that’s just their culture and I guess it works for them. As an outsider it’s a complete shock, but I can’t knock someone just because it’s different. It definitely feels less civilized but that’s looking through my American rose tinted glasses. We are definitely fortunate to be born in the USA even though it’s terrible at times. We have the luxury of arguing over mundane things while people in Vietnam don’t have time for anything except trying to make a buck. Even when I was out having a big boy soda with my Pakistani friend Fahad, there was a literal baby that approached our table trying to sell us stuff as his mother watched from behind. A baby! And there’s prostitution everywhere. If you even make eye contact they come over trying to pull you into some place to do you know what. Anyway what else can I say? The country surprisingly has this big influence from France so a ton of the buildings are modeled like French architecture and it’s pretty cool. The pho is amazing and some other foods were good but they get western food entirely wrong. Also I feel like every country I visit there’s undertones in the food, a specific aroma that flows through and is the essence of the food. It’s like a country’s pheromones, I can smell it in every country and Vietnam is my least favorite. Also the language is probably my least favorite of all time lol. And the hospital was in really poor condition and people everywhere I can’t imagine what it was like when the pandemic hit. But yeah it’s been really fun and I’m excited to check out Laos and Cambodia real quick then head to Thailand for awhile.

August 18- I liked Laos a lot more than I thought I would, maybe just because I knew nothing about it before I came. Vientiane is such a cool little city. I’ve never been to Eastern Europe but somehow it feels like you could pick it up and set it down there and it’d fit right in. Very romantic and relaxed feel. Luang Prabang is a tiny tourist town and I immediately felt at home here. Anyway, off to Cambodia next.

*currently in Cambodia for a few more days then heading to Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, Philippines and Kyrgyzstan then back to USA. I’ll be sure to give another update. 

Peace guys!