second-ish week of school?

i don't know how many weeks i am in school now. i think... a month or two actually? we technically started first week of july but also technically not.

i have a quiz today and i am not really sure if i'm prepared for it.

my extracurricular is taking so much of my time. this monday is supposed to be a holiday but i'm going to train instead for a tournament on sunday. don't get me wrong, i think i'm really happy and this is a really fun extracurricular but i am by trade a really lazy cat. i'm very apprehensive whenver i'm unable to rest.

i'm still not sure if i'll survive but i have to survive. i don't want to get kicked out and i already am excited for the next four years to pass by. it's really just being able to adjust to a more hectic workflow in comparison to my undergrad years where i could coast by and still get good grades. it's very strange having to actually exert effort and memorize and apply things. covid years made my brain really mushy and difficult to remember and i think the past few weeks was an exercise for my brain to be like pre-covid (not that getting back to pre-covid days is actually likely or achievable lol). it's just training my attention span now to actually work and read and take notes.

i can do it. i'll survive. i need to survive. if my brother was able to do this, then i can do this. my brain is trying to poison my will by telling me about all the superstitions i believe in but i believe in myself, i believe in God, and i believe in the people that believes in me. i'll overcome my superstitions. i'll overcome everything.

i really want pancakes though.