why the FUCK do tauren in wow have titties????

             Blizzard has a complicated history with the female gender. However, possibly their largest grievance is the female tauren in World of Warcraft. Look around at what Blizzard has done. They've sexually harrased women, they've facilitated the rape of women, and 90% of their female characters hold unrealistic beauty standards for women (case in point: literally every female elf). However, none of this comes even close to the fuckery that is the design of the female tauren. On first look, you may notice nothing wrong. However, the fault lies in their breasts.

             Take a long hard look at a female tauren's boobs. They look relatively ordinary. They're round, of reasonable size, and overall don't look too out of place. So what's the issue? The answer: the fact that they exist at all.

             Obviously, the existence of spherical, rotund chest appendages on its own isn't an issue. They're a natural part of human anatomy. However the key words that must be noted here are human anatomy. Tauren are not human. Tauren are humanoid, which is an important distinction. According to the WoWWiki, "Tauren are large, muscular humanoids and bovine in appearance, complete with hooves and horns". The most important thing that must be noted is the part stating that they are bovine in appearance. Other than their bipedal stature, tauren have primarily bovine features (including horns, which is another issue with the female tauren, but is a discussion for another day).

               Now look at a female cow. Notice something missing that exists on the female tauren. That's right. No tits. No boobies. No mommy milkers. only regular milkers, more commonly referred to as an udder. Considering the only distinguishing feature that separates a regular cow from a tauren is the fact that tauren stand on two legs, female tauren should have udders. Now, the true question must be raised: why do female tauren have boobs?

               The obvious answer, considering we're talking about Blizzard, is to sexualize them. But why would the designers sexualize an anthropomorphic cow? For this we must turn to the furry chart.

                   When first looking at this chart, you may think that tauren lie in the more furry category, since that is the last section containing tits. However, this is simply untrue, as tauren have hooves rather than human legs, and their structure is more animalistic than human, meaning they actually fall into the furry section. The tits exist on tauren to distract us from the truth: Blizzard designers are furries. However this backfires on them completely, and their humanization/sexualization of the female tauren only solidifies them as furries. Of course, we also have the worgen, pandaren, and vulperan as proof, but the design of tauren shows that furryism runs deep in Blizzard's roots.

                    Don't misconstrue my words, however; tauren are 100% ethically fuckable, as they pass the harkness test. The harkness test states that anything that has they intelligence necessary to consent and ability to communicate consent with language is permissable to fuck. Despite their animalistic features, tauren are every bit as intelligent as the other playable races in World of Warcraft, and thus pass the test. The harkness test does not mention animalistic features, meaning even if tauren had udders they would still be ethical to fuck.

                     With all this in mind, I implore Blizzard to unmask their furryism and give female tauren udders. With udders you can still sexualize them while not being quite as blatant about it, plus there's no more anthropomorphic fencesitting. Thank you and goodbye.

TL;DR: I want to suck a tauren udder, and I'm tired of hiding it.