10 | fist fighting my inner demons rn

had a bad day today ):

I accidentally cashed out all my financial aid from school. I called services for something else, and they asked me casually if I wanted to do it. I instinctively said yes even though I didn’t understand her until the end. I tried to call back but no one answered )): . I’ll still have the money at least, so overall not really a big deal! but I am just frustrated about how my people pleaser tendencies jumped out at that moment.

I also tried to study for class, but it was mostly me staring at the notes screen and then getting distracted and bored before looking at it. I eventually got myself to read through it a couple of times though, not at a true productive pace. I also had to cancel on some fun plans with friends ):

sleeping early is out the window rn too cause it’s like 2am LOLL. I also just dislike sleeping early, I like just staying up and thinking late at night and stuff.

good things I did today were a lot of cleaning though

even though I messed up a lot today i know its just normal when I’m trying to improve problems that are very ingrained in me. I am happy that I am still actively trying to fix my shortcomings, I just need to make sure to keep going at it. 

ok sleepy so short blog today, goodnight