this phase make me terifiyinh

I just finished my first internship than to mba lili, mba intan, bu novi and mas dwiki who thought me about finance and tax, i got SO MANY THINGS. Kinda emotional to get my first ever allowance, i mean i was a spoiled kid who cannot do anything, but here iam doing all the things by myself After this intership i shoul focus on my thesis wich ive no clue about the topic huftttt, but im trying please god help me. I still even think that iam tha just tuen out 17 and wants to going to uni and after this intenship and thesis thing ive just realize im going 21, and wondering what should i do next. Should i just being "budak korporat" whos working 9-5 for entire my life or should continue my study and study abroad as im dreaming of since childhood, and the what id? question came out what if i can survive with my thesis? what if im not finish my study on time? what if, what if? and thats me crying cause im scared. 

And im actualy(feel) fallin behind alll of my friend have someone to talk with im happy for them, thank god theyre finally got someone who adores them this much. But i feel i dont have anyone again, cause im distrupt them, cause im not relating right now. i actually want to have someone to talk with, to share the what if questing or just talking hows your day?, but i guess im not that atractive or just boring person so people dont want talk to me idk.