hoping for better days...

so i know i have some issues i need work on, like i have an amazing husband, and a part of me still finds myself wondering whats on the other side. when i know my husband is the man i had been praying for, for yrs since i was with my son dad back in 2013 when i thought i was in a happy relationship quickly found out that there was a different side to that anger build up anger and i found out i blacked out when to angry. since having kids it has really calm me down to where i feel like everyone is attacking me.. some days i feel like my head will pop like i cant breath in a sea full of people and no one sees me crying and yelling for help.