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Lately I cant seem to understand my own emotions. One second I would be dancing in my pjs to a song I like and the next I would be so anxious I almost vomit. I think, I think too much about things that don't matter and that scares me. If life is getting to tough to handle now I am scared for my future. My family thinks I am smart and my friends think so too and the pressure to have a good future and be success full is really starting to be real. I started to care less about my body and I was happy I wore tighter shirts but I can sense my insecurities coming back and I don't know what to do. I wish I could just say that its just me being a teenage boy but when I look around it feels like I am the only one having a mid life crisis at 17. I hate how I cant show my real emotions its like when I leave my room I become an energetic and social guy but when I get back I feel like the worst person alive. I hate thinking about things I said in the past. I swear I wish I wasn't as impulsive I might just be happy with my self and the life I made.
Thoughts from the past few days Aug 10th 2023
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your feelings are so valid but also relatable tbh.
i normally don't voice my thoughts and feelings irl or even online, but i've been on a journey similar to yours. like you i was "the smart one" - whatever that means - and it makes me so insecure and afraid whenever i feel like i'm not applying myself enough or working hard enough for my family or friends. it's not even like my friends care, i just am in a mindset where i feel stuck in that role i was only interested in as a kid. i don't really fit in because of that, and it doesn't help i didn't really have strong social skills growing up. it got me good at pretending to be happy around people, to pretend to be more secure with my own sense of self and interests. the things i tell people i'm interested in irl don't really relate to what i feel genuinely, i just say it because i feel like i need something to talk about. online it's a lot easier for me to be honest, which is why i want to help by telling you you're not alone. i hate my body and i can't even figure out what kind of AA i want, let alone what i want to do for the rest of my life.
on a lighter note though, you seem like a really cool person to know, sorry for talking abt myself so much idk why i used this as an outlet to vent so i'm sorry!!
I am so sorry I didnt read your comment sooner I am so grateful to know someone understands
by Seeninpassing; ; Report