1 fucking year... (TW)

You know I was sitting down and just trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing but I realized I am one fucking year clean, its so crazy from hurting every time I shower to being able actually take a bath. Iv never realized how far iv come because I could of never fucking thought I would be alive this long. Last year I remember showing up to class and hoping to just drop on the floor. A couple of days ago I wore a shirt for an hour, still such a huge fucking achievement I never thought I would ever do that. From a mf who cried in the mirror every time I saw myself to being able to just wear a shirt outside the gym. 

If I sat here and told you im fine now I would be lying, it gets better but I feel like I will never be fully ok  īm still fucked in everyway possible, I cut people off randomly and leave when people need me most but I still feel like it gets better I found ways to cope and how to be more likeable but I still wana rip my fucking skin off sometimes because of the shit iv done or say. I also can't say anything motivating because I had a mental break last year as emo as it sounds I can't talk to people, I can't cry in front of people without feeling like im attention seeking, if I could I would go back in time and just hug my 2022 self because holy fuck.

Ill end this by saying don't you fucking dare give up and please for the love of god see how your friends are doing even if its a simple "Hey" just please you will help them more then you think.