4 | i am very overwhelmed

today was super busy and stressful. After I had accepted the job offer I was presented a TON of information to collect, and less than two weeks to get it because my school is starting out soon. Im not sure if I can get everything. In fact, I already had emailed asking for an exception because they're asking for FIVE references with two manager/supervisor ones. C'mon man this is my first job aaaa. I spent the whole day writing emails, filling documents, making calls, and scheduling meetings to make sure I have everything. I wish I was over-exaggerating but im not

Doesnt help that I have this habit of catastrophing every little mistake I make and that I am a perfectionist. I used to think it was better to assume the worst so I could be pleasantly be surprised when things turn out ok. However, it caused me to take the littlest things way too seriously- which wasnt mentally healthy. i still havent figured the balance between too optimistic or too negative yet.

I have to accept that mistakes are gonna be something that'll just happen. that i'll mess up and its going to be ok. especially as someone who's new to the industry, lacks interpersonal skills and is the eldest in an immigrant family. most importantly, i need to remember that i am a capable person who can grow, even though i have garbage self esteem.

i have more calls tomorrow to make and places to go, wish me luck.