wait its fun to vent

guys whatever you do not let a non committed man drag you through more than a month of a relationship. i let myself fall in love just for him to say oops im too depressed to treat you like a human being!!! and then he has the nerve to ask for me to wait for him until he's better. no i am not going to fucking wait for you to do what you signed up to do 2 months ago!!!! he was supposed to be there for me, take care of me, and treat me like an actual girlfriend. but no. i was basically the man's escort everywhere!!!!! for 2 months i'm not allowed to his apartment, for 2 months i'm driving him everywhere bc he doesn't have a car, for 2 months i'm planning every single thing we do all depending if i can drive or not because his stupid ass can't plan a date where we don't have to go somewhere!!!!!!!!!! i'm fucking so done!!!!! because my heart hurts so much from this fucker!!!!! when i was treated as a friend that sometimes kisses, not as a girlfriend. i am so heart broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely. and he can just move on, take time to work on himself, what can i do about myself? what can i possibly do to prevent this from happening next time? other than be more cautious of men than i was before? i tried my hardest, and i still have the knife wedged in my side. i can't do anything. all i can do is sit here and be miserable and start all over again. explain to another man all of my trauma so they don't accidentally make me go into a panic attack. why the fuck do i even try