life update

hi im still alive. today is the day i take the dmv permit test and its the only thing i have on my mind right now. its things like this that make me wish america was a more walkable country because then that would solve all my problems. maybe ill move somewhere else when i turn 18 because im certainly not staying here. i have been killing myself studying for it because i dont want to be seen as dumb if i dont pass it on the first try. speaking of killing myself, my meds are looking really temping these days but dying is scary. my birthday hangout/sleepover thing is this weekend. i invited four of my friends and only 2 rsvped yes. we were originally going to watch barbie then go get dinner but the stupid theaters arent showing it on that day so we're going to dave and busters now. there's this emptiness that i feel because im not going to be 15 ever again and i feel like im taking my teen years for granted. im not cherishing them enough. i think junior year might be my last year in high school ngl.