The backstory

Honestly lately i was feeling kind of depressed, sad and angry for almost like no reason, i would blame it on the weather and the season and stuff like that. And honestly i was getting mad at my friends and family cause i felt like nobody was there for me, which was stupid AF.

I had this realisation tonight that the reason i was feeling so down and had lack of motivation to do anything was because i was letting myself, obviously this doesnt really work for people with mental illnesses or anything like that, but the reason i was so upset is because i was so quick to distract myself with tik tok and youtube and things like that, which is just crazy because tik tok is the whole reason i started to feel a bit down, cause all the sudden you are reminiscing on old memories and sad or happy moments of your life and then you get flooded with depressing tik toks like the batman meme thats like basically saying that nobody is there for you and stuff like that, and heaps other videos similar to that.

Now i dont think im easily influenced  or  anything like that, but when its your wholeee tik tok fyp it becomes a little bit overwhelming, like why am i knowing everyones childhood trauma right now on a music app. And honestly being in a sad angsty mood is easier because you dont really need to think about the now, its usually all about the past or the future. This relates back to my realisation because i was thinking like the only reason i was upset is because it was easy, and i just need to LIVE. and i dont mean like "live out your teen years they only happen once!'' i mean live as in do what YOU wanna do because you are your strongest solider and theres no times like now, like YOU need to get out of this funk and start living your life the way its intended and start prioritising your NOW self, not your future or past self. because right now you arent who you are in the future or who you were in the past.

There is no moment like now. Right now in the present you are the truest YOU you can be, so why waste that time thinking or dreading for past or future you. when NOW is what matters.