August 8th 2023

To be quite honest, I didn't believe I'd be coming back to this account.  I've spent the last few months shifting through different personalities and aesthetics just trying to find who I am.  Somehow, I always circle my way back to here; back to Coppelia Foxworth.

Last night I talked with a friend about how I see myself, or lack thereof.  He assured me that it was normal to feel lost and that I shouldn't try to force myself to stay the same when I want to change.  I used that information as a safe haven in my mind to allow me to change back into Coppelia.  

To be back where it all started isn't only frustrating; it has given me something that I certainly took for granted when I had it.  That being said is an outlet.

Through different identities I've adopted art has always been a keen factor in them.  But me, and I really mean me as Coppelia Foxworth, I created art that meant so much more than a silly fan drawing.  

I created my own universe, my own timeline of self through Coppelia that let me safely escape and cope.  I don't believe it's any secret that I struggle with mental health and being able to take out what I want to do to myself on a paper doll, Anastasia, is something that I didn't believe would impact me so much.

Through these past few months I have gone from having a creative outlet to feeling pressured to make art or loose that artistic part of my identity.  Yesterday was the first time, in a long time, that I wanted to create something.  Even today the feeling still resonates within me.

I'm done running from myself, I'm tired of hiding the fact that I am who I want to be in most terms.  I will always be Coppelia Foxworth and I'm not running away from it anymore.

I can now safely create.

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