Healing! - how i got over the breakup

Hey! Vic there :D

Todays topic may be a bit different, but since i have been recently in my first hard breakup i wanted to share some tips and what i did to heal myself so it doesnt hurt as much as it did at the beggining. Let me introduce you to a few phases i have been through.

DISCLAIMER - the phases arent neccesary, its just my experience and some helpful tips.

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PHASE 1 - breakup

This one is different for everyone, some people are happy/dont feel anything/arent really bothered/sad, overall - the reality didnt hit you yet. Well this phase was a disaster for me. Couldnt eat, study, go to school or even get out of the bed. Overall - terrible.

All you can do in this phase is let your head proceed what happend, talk to ur friends what you feel. Dont hide ur feelings from anyone - TALK.

PHASE 2 - reality

In this one it hits you, you two are not together, and probably will never be. This phase again may be a sad one - it was for me. I started lots of things i would never do before - smoking, drinking ect. I tried to silence my feelings - DO NOT DO THAT. Again talk about how you feel, to your friends, familly, online friends or people. Be sad - i know it sounds weird but just cry if you need to, its important and you will see later that that was needed. Let the time heal you!

PHASE 3 - "i dont need them"

In this phase you may change your mindset from missing them to trying to replace them. Talking to other people, flirting and trying to find someone else - thats a terrible idea. Dont do that. Not everyone has this phase but again - its based off my experience. Anyway - you better avoid this one cuz you may regret that later on. You dont need anyone now, focus on loving yourself and learn how to live like before the relationship.

PHASE 4 - "i will never find someone like them"

Again the sad phase. Dont get stuck in this phase - this one may be caused by your overthinking about the situation - keep your head busy. Im not that type of person that will tell you "there are lots of fish in the sea" cuz from my own experience - it doesnt work.

PHASE 5 - breaking no contact

It sure will be a time when you or your ex will break no contact, if you sure want to do this - dont do it too soon (if your ex was the toxic one - dont). In my story my ex first broke no contact and it was too soon for me cuz i wasnt really healed after a breakup and that caused me to make the same mistakes as ealier.

PHASE 6 - the realisation

In this stage you probably think about what went wrong or who was in the wrong. Keep that in mind that most of the time both of the people are the problem (but not always!) - This may sounds weird but actually i was the problem in this relationship most of the time - my past relationships with people destroyed my view on healthy relationships and that made me do self-destruction methods without me even noticing. This took me some time to realize, but i made sure i dont do the same mistakes i did in the past. I cut off all the people that made me feel like i wasnt worth anything and i focused on my self worth. I sure changed in these 8 months and im proud.

PHASE 7 - healing

You may not even notice that ur getting better, doing new hobbies, making new friends and overall getting better. Sure the healing isnt always the happy time, you will probably still cry about the past during that time but not that hard as before. - You will know when ur actually better, but ur healing all the time ;D

PHASE 8 - time

It is sure that time heals, but you need to let it heal you. Do everything to express your emotions - write poems, blogs, paint listen to music. All to express your current feelings and just wait for the good to come to you but ofc help yourself with recieving happiness you deserve.

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All the phases dont have to be in order or even happening to you, everyone experiences breakups different the main thing is - LEARN from what happend and dont let the bad things happend again. Talk about your feelings! no matter who or in what way, its always better to write everything up or say than keep it to yourself all the time. Sometimes its also good to just sit with yourself for a while and talk to yourself and come to conclusions about some things - be easy on yourself in that time.

Thank you for reading :D will sure update if i will remember something else. My mail is always open when you need advice or just talk!

Peace!