My bf >_<

I really miss my boyfriend. I was the happiest ivw been in my life when he lived with me. He got taken from me and now i moved 2 hours away and its all happening so so fast it's making me so depressed. Hes the only thing that makes me happy. I miss my boyfriend i cry literally every night. Ive never loved anyone like how i love him. my love for him is so real and strong. He reassures me and he lets me get possessive and jealous and he likes it, i can be myself around him and it makes me so happy. My body aches so badly for him i need to see him again or i will kill myself. He doesnt understand the extent of my love for him, i can never explain it right if i tried. Love is such a gorgeous thing. It feels so nice. It feels so amazing to have someone who appreciates you as much as you appreciate them. He makes my overthinking so much less bad than it usually is. Hes so perfect. And the craziest part?? Hes mine. 

I used to not believe in love actually. I used to think people were uptalking it sooo much. But being with josiah makes me understand what people meant before. He gives me those butterflies people talk about. He gets me excited for even the smallest of things, because to me they arent small. Everything is so perfect. I get sad sometimes remembering we fight sometimes but then i remember thats part of being healthy. Healthy couples fight. Thats how the world works. This is the first healthy relationship i have ever been in. This is the first person i can positively say i truly love them. I love him more than anything. I would shoot myself in the head if he wanted me to. I would do anything for him. Im so crazy about him. It drives me insane i love it. I love him.  I really love him. 

I wish i had money to spoil him. Id buy so much for him i cant wait to get a job. I need one. I need a job to spoil my son. I never used to believe in marriage either. But this boy. This boy has me looking at wedding rings, thinking about the color scheme, whos gonna be there, whos walking me down the isle. The whole works. My boyfriend has me so comfortable i would tell him anything. And i have. Ive told him things i would have never told someone for $1,000,000. I love him so incredibly much. God. This boy is my entire world. I really love him. If anything ever happens to him i will not live. Nothing can happen to my perfect baby. Nothing ever. 

His smile is so perfect and his teeth are mine. His nose is the most attractive thing you could ever see. It the perfect size to sit on too. His hair is so curly and fun to run my hands through. And his skin is so beautifully soft. I love the way his eyes look, when he looks at me they sparkle and grow so soft. he has such a caring face. His lips are the most amazing thing to graze with my own. Theyre so soft and plump. His kisses make me feel so at home, so warm, comfortable. His face is so perfect i love everything about all of him, every inch of him so gorgeous. hes my home. i love him. 

And dont get me started on sex. I never undersood it. Ive never felt sexual attraction towards anyone or thing, quite frankly i felt that all sex organs looked so extremely disgusting, repulsive. Tbh i still do. But his. Oh my god his is so pretty. Its so cute and little and it makes me feel all warm inside just thinking about it. I throb when i see a pic of just his face and my mind goes crazy. I think of all the positions we could be doing, all the places. He has me in such a trance i layed on a public bathroom floor for some sex. I never understood it but i surely do now. Id go to lengths id never thought i would to have sex with him. I still dont get turned on by anything but himand its so cool. Im so happy he was my first. I cant wait to spend eternity together. I love him. 

I love my beautiful, perfect, handsome, sweet, amazing boy.