Ramblings 1

I'm a little bit high and I have random things to say but don't want to seem weird in front of people so I'll use this random empty blog to do so.

So I'm watching someone play elden ring rn right. And I was like 'I love exploring the world of elden ring more than the bosses' and he waslike 'really? I like fighting the enemies more' and I notice when I play elden ring I get annoyed when all I get out of exploring an area is a boss battle. Like, it feels more unfulfilling than when I get like a cool sword or item. 

But in real life I'm also a material person. I love my objects. I love getting more objects. My greatest fear is being in a situation where I lose my objects. Like am I a dragon or somehing lmao?? And just like in real life, i like my objects in my vidya games. So when the reward is not an object, I'm like what??? What is this for???

Then I realize that satisfaction doesn't also come from having object, but also challenging yourself to something hard and besting it, and feeling satisfied about it. But I don't feel super satisfied  with muscle memorying my way through a short term boss. thats why i like puzzle games, i like exercising my mind for satisfaction than muscle memory. maybe thats why winning at wrestling didnt do much for me but figuring out a bug in my code does. idk. guess that makes it hard for me to like doing elden ring bosses, which is like the point of the game lol.