silly little poem

(hey stranger!!

this is a poem I wrote a few weeks n i thought id share it ...cus why not?

its called "hiraeth", enjoy^^)

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Hireath

i long to exist 

in the thousands of lives i have written 

rather than in my own,

i long to live yet it is too often surviving.

i hold a power to heal

but the power to hurt.

if i but let them, 

i fall into that indeterminate hole

of serene melancholy 

once again;

so when time may bed a rose upon my grave,

the comfort in its wither

will subdue the hiraeth of my soul.

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 " 𝙷𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚎𝚝𝚑   

 ↳ 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎'𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 "

to put it shortly, i wrote "hiraeth" about finding comfort and familiarity in 

depression (and/or other mental illnesses). its the feelings of suffering for so 

long that it starts to become your normal, and you find it hard to recover

-- almost like self sabotage?

does anyone else experience this? :P

i think the reason i, and others, self sabotage when in a bad mental state is 

because it gives us a feeling of control and prediction, which was before

taken from us. thoughts?

~ riley <3