"Recap of my Life" (song lyrics)

(Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave!)

(I can't be on my own, I just can't!)

(Stay with me, please!)

(I'm begging you!)

My relationships, they come and go

I push them away, but I don't even know

I need their love, but i need my space

It's hard to feel steady in this rat race

(I'm struggling to keep up, to feel anything at all)

My identity is shattered, i can't seem to find my call

I want to be loved, to be accepted for who I am

But when I try to reach out, they don't seem to understand

I wake up everyday feeling like I'm trapped

In this twisted game of emotional combat

My mind's at war, there's no escape

And every single feeling just seems to escalate

I try to be strong, but I'm losing control

The voices in my head just won't let go

I see the world in black and white

There's no grey area, and that threatens my fight

🎵---------------

Sometimes I hate you, sometimes I adore

It's hard to keep track of this emotional uproar

My fears and my doubts, they eat me alive

And I can't seem to find a way to thrive

My thoughts they race, my heart it aches

I can't escape all the choices I made

I push and pull, I love and hate

I'm a ticking time bomb just waiting to desecrate

I push away the ones I love the most

And hold on tight to those that hurt me most

I make myself alone, I drown myself in my thoughts

I hate myself, no matter how validating the haunts

🎵-------------

Every time I interact, they tell me get into my lane

Every trip to the doctor, just to tell me I'm not sane

I hurt me, when they see, I take in all the blame

My arm's a candy cane, my body absorbs the pain

Multiple fragments of myself, I'm two-faced, it's a chore

The slightest trigger sets me off, it's a never ending war

Self-destructive tendencies feel like an addiction

Can't escape my mind's prison, it's a constant affliction

🎵-------------

(You caused me to be this way.)

(You abandoned me when I needed you.)